My one complaint this year was that a small group in attendance wanted complete silence so they could hang on every word of every acceptance speech. That didn't sit well with those of us rely on verbal critique as a method of coping with the endless prattling. No one likes a Chatty Cathy but we were in a party setting, not a mofo library. If you need peace and quiet, stay home and watch it in your jammies next year, ass hats.
So, anyway, a rather intoxicated Southern girl collapsed into a seat next to Jess and me. She was perhaps the worst offender of the No Talking During Acceptance Speeches Policy. The makers of said law frequently shushed her but she blatantly ignored them and continued to chime in with slurred, garbled and increasingly-loud and blissfully uninformed commentary. Naturally, Jess and I fell instantly in love with her and the three of us struck up a conversation.
At one point during our chat, Jess turned to me and said, "Oh my God, I love her!" I agreed and added, "We SO need to become best friends with her." Since I had a few beers in me, I had no qualms about telling the drunk Southern girl that we just conferred and decided that she was, in fact, THE cat's pajamas. She was tickled with this revelation and we discussed how fun it would be if we all hung out. She gave me her email address and then I excused myself to go to the bathroom or something while she and Jess continued the wee love fest.
Fast forward to today's IM session with Jess:
Yours Truly: D'oh! I keep forgetting to email that crazy drunk chick we met at the Oscar Party. What was her name again?
Jess: Stephanie?
YT: No, I don't think it was Stephanie.
YT: Shit, what was it? Carrie?
Jess: Yes!
YT: You know, I crack up every time I think of you telling me that after I walked away she said, "So what kind of fun do you two want to have?"
Jess: Ha ha ha!
YT: I can't believe she thought we wanted to tag-team her!
Jess: And she seemed totally into it
YT: OMG, can you imagine?
Jess: No, no I can't
YT: Not bad considering we weren't even trying. I mean, if we actually applied ourselves we could conceivably start our own pussy posse... if, like, you know, you were actually into the pussy and, um, I wasn't such a big one when it comes to such things.
