March 15, 2005

gmail and special odor-eliminating sauce

I am lucky enough to be very good friends with a woman I used to date. We'll call her The Masseuse since I don't like to name names and since she's a very talented massage therapist. I know what you're thinking and to answer your question... yes, it's EXTREMELY NICE to date a massage therapist.

But I digress, even though the relationship thang didn't pan out between The Masseuse and myself, she and I remain the dearest of friends. We hang out quite often and fully support each other in our latest romantic endeavors with nary an ounce of jealousy or weirdness. Our friendship is deep and meaningful, not to mention really fun. We get a kick out of each other. Our emails and phone calls are often riddled with ridiculous pet names that usually involve a loving tweak of the other's fictitious stank. For instance, I call her Smelly while she has dubbed me, um, Stinkerbutt. It's all really charming and not as nauseating as it may seem here.

I'm serious.

Oh, shut up.

ANYhoo, while I'm at work, I use Gmail to check my personal email account. As you may or may not know, Google has whored out our email messages so that supposed relevant sponsor links appear to the right of the message body. It freaks me out slightly that my emails are being scanned but I do have to admit that the recent "relevant" links in emails from The Masseuse have been QUITE comical:
Stop Skunk Odor
Safely eliminate skunk spray odor on pets and home furnishings.

Pet Urine Remover Recipe
Don't buy expensive cleaners! Make your own with this easy recipe

Skunk Odor Eliminator
Remove skunk odor from pets Powerful effective cleaner

Eliminate Cat Urine Odors
Cats, Ferret, Dog Odors Vanish Secret Formulas, Tips & Advice

I'm Gonna Kill My Cat
We've Saved Millions of Cats w/ Urine Problems. Planet Urine Helps!

The Truth About Cat Urine
We Treat Cat Odor Everyday! Get Expert Advice & Advanced Products
As you can see, we seem to be caught in a skunk and feline-favored link loop right now. I'm going to have to start varying the nicknames and trying different combos to see what other smelly suggestions Google coughs up. It's become like a new time-wasting hobby of mine. Try it, Gmailers! It's fun.