Um, yes, hello. It's Mum. It's about half-past seven P.M. Just calling to see how you ar(rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)e. [Ed. note: The Mother and especially the Father pronounce this letter quite amusingly.]I think my mom and Amy's mom need to get together and have brunch so that they can swap tips on the most effective ways to scare the shit out of their offspring, how to lay down a proper guilt trip and administer frequent doses of shame and embarrassment... with love and panache, of course.
I just want you to... you know... um... I think you should be veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrry vigilant and be on the lookout for suspicious things. Okay, now. Right, please call me back. Bye bye now. BEEP!
August 02, 2004
mum's messages, part deux
The Mother often calls and leaves messages on my machine to inform/remind me of upcoming events, birthdays, holy days of obligation, tax deadlines, impending inclement weather, etc. It's the typical motherly thing to do but my mom's phrasing and inflection set her apart from the pack. She puts on her official phone voice as if she was calling Immigration to inquire about the status of her citizenship application. Her Scottish accent sounds really thick on my digital answering machine so, even though the subject matter is often grim, it still makes me laugh. Tonight's message: