September 21, 2004

it's 11:00pm... do you know where curly is?

Fucking home, that's where. I totally shouldn't be though. Why? 'Cause I had a date this evening. You know, there was a time when I'd meet someone for dinner or a drink and we would stay out until the wee hours of the morning talking, giggling and/or um... well, you know. Well, not tonight. What the hell is going on lately?!?! I was in the door by 9:00pm. This is appalling.

I went out with a perfectly nice woman but she just didn't tickle my fancy. At the risk of sounding immodest, I think she digs me... which is a real pain in the ass. It's just easier for all involved when the disinterest is mutual. While she didn't come right out and say, "I dig you, Curly McDimple," I could just tell she did. She was very flirty and coy. When we parted ways, she commanded me to call her soon. And she also stated, as opposed to suggesting, that we get together again. I don't mind an aggressive woman in the boudoir but I'd rather not be bossed around by one I hardly know on West 4th Street, thank you very much. It's very unbecoming.

I think I'm going to hit the bar scene again and try to stop being so shy in the presence of pretty women. I'm also going to expand my online shopping to include bi chicks. I have no issue with bisexuals but I have been hesitant to contact them in the past. It's not fun or easy to compete and coexist with men in this arena. It's just not. I also worry that these gorgeous women who catch my eye are straight and have accidentally selected the "I am interested in both sexes" feature. Now before you protest, I have to say that this is a totally legitimate concern. Two reasons: 1) I ALWAYS fall for straight chicks and 2) I've seen men's pictures show up in my lesbian-only search results because those dumbasses accidentally clicked "I am a woman seeking a woman" in the dropdown. Can you imagine his surprise when some diesel dyke invites him to a womyn's poetry slam? HA HA! It's no doubt amusing but it does give me pause.

I don't trust my judgment anymore. I just put Jess on notice that from now on, she's going to have to play "Is This Chick Ugly or Perhaps Insane?" with me before I contact or reply to anyone. She will be forwarded emails and online profiles to give her thumbs up/down before I make any moves. I'm clearly in a slump and I need someone to help correct my swing. Jess will be my Don Mattingly.

To get a broader sample of opinions, I might set up a reader panel to help dictate and decide the course of my love life. Kindly let me know of your interest and availability. Furthermore, if any of you can cough up a warm, willing body for me to squire around town, I'll be your best friend. Well, not really, but I will be grateful. Requirements:

:: Lesbo or bi

:: Female (assigned at birth)

:: Must live in NYC

:: Age range: mid-20s to 30s

:: Not gross or crazy
Let the games begin!