September 02, 2004

celebrities i hate for no good reason

I just found out that Mark McGrath of Sugar Ray fame is going to cohost Extra. I really hate Mark McGrath. Does he ever say no to his agent? Seriously, Mark, make yourself scarce, please! I'm really surprised he hasn't hosted any of the televised beauty pageants. Or has he?

I'm not sure why he bugs me so much but he's definitely in good company. I get supremely irritated by certain famous people. They make me ridiculously angry and my skin crawl. It's not a rational hatred at all but it exists nonetheless. So here, in no particular order, are the people who annoy the crap out of me. Some get an explanation but others speak for themselves:

:: Adam Sandler

:: Geraldo Rivera
He's most definitely grotesque but this is more of a personal grudge as I interned for him in college... but that's a whole other blog entry.

:: Al Roker

:: Rosie O'Donnell [Update: See here and here.]

:: Garth Brooks
Years ago, Entertainment Weekly accused him of possessing "messianic hubris." Once I found out what it meant, I totally agreed.

:: Robin Williams
Sorry but I just don't find him funny. I think people laugh at him more out of expectation and habit. To me, he's manic and totally uncomfortable to watch. Ritalin, Robin. Ritalin.

:: Burt Reynolds
Slimy son of a bitch

:: k.d. lang
Yes, she's a sister and has a gorgeous voice but I once read that she's a cheap tipper and I can't quite get over it.

:: Tom Hanks
Sheila wrote an interesting piece about Hanks. Unlike moi, she doesn't hate him but questions his recent movie roles. But like moi, she despises Forrest Gump. Rock on!

:: Jeff Goldblum
Good actor but irritating nonetheless.

:: John Tesh
Any easy target but I couldn't resist.

:: Mary Hart of Entertainment Tonight
If that woman has an ounce of wit, I have yet to see it. But she's all about the legs I guess. While I'm on the subject, I hate any celebrity who hums the ET theme music when being interviewed on the red carpet. Stop. It's not clever. It's not original. So cut that shit out.

:: Judd from Real World: San Francisco
He was the frizzy-haired self-righteous cartoonist. Not long ago, I took a few other cast members to task but my distaste for Judd definitely has the most staying power.

:: Bob Costas
I actually heard him use the term "slender Panamanian"... more than once. Um, what?

:: Michael Kay
The local announcer for the NY Yankees. He's like Costas with his incessant yapping and ridiculous hyperbole. Argh, I want to crack both of their skulls together.

:: Hootie and the Blowfish
I know they're passé (thankfully) but they left such an impression on me in the 90s and I can't get over it. Ditto goes for The Goo Goo Dolls, Matchbox 20, The Gin Blossoms, Toad the Wet Sprocket, The Verve Pipe and a lot of those other pseudo-alternative boneheads of that decade. Don't know their names but those guys who sing "Closing Time" and "Sex and Candy" better never encounter me in a dark alley. I'll beat their asses something fierce.

:: That Short, Stout Guy with the Pony Tail Found in Infomercials
Don't know his name but I think he shills exercise equipment. Creepy.

:: The Dude with the Accent Who Does Aerobics on the Beach
Don't know his name either but he's always joined by two other people standing on circular mats doing moderate and low-impact aerobics behind him. He's tan and has curly black hair with freakishly thin legs. As a rule, I don't like it when a man's hair is wider than the rest of him.

I'm sure I'll think of more so check back for updates.