an ode to my itty bitty titties

Someone just found my site by searching for "poems about itty bitty titties." While I'm THRILLED that I'm the in the top 10 results on Google for this search term, I do feel bad that I don't have anything of the sort on this here blog. However, it doesn't mean I can't write a homage to my less-than-bountiful boobies now, no?

So, without further ado...

An Ode to My Itty Bitty Titties
My titties are perky and really quite small.
They are as wee as the rest of me's tall.

I don't mean to disparage what the Good Lord hath made,
But mine are on par with a girl's in third grade.

But I've discovered an upside
That's rather convincing,
I can run bra-less up and down stairs
Without even wincing.

As gravity sets in
My girls won't droop down to my gut,
Unlike Dolly's,
That big-chested slut.

I also won't have chronic back pain
When I'm all old and crusty.
When others are hooked on Doan's,
I'll be glad I'm not busty.

And while other boobies are subject to catcalls and "Moooooooooo!"s,
I continue to take comfort
That I can still see my shoes.

Thank you.